25th Birthday...

Well.. 'tis the eve of my 25th.. what a party.. My "baby" bro took me out..and Erin.. they are two good souls.. I am sorry for ever saying anything bad about them..yeah, I should really call up Erin and work out.. Well.. I am 25.. never having a hint of a guy liking me.. so no babies, no marriage..I don't think in this lifetime I ever will..*sigh* Juno made me cry today- when I saw that baby..I am like ooh I want one.. But it is not realistic..nor will it ever be, really.. and miracles don't happen.. Well actually..that's not true.. cuz god gave me a little miracle kitty.. I am indulging in all I want this weekend..It'll be great to see mom and stuff..and just chill.. It was awkward when Dad arrived home at the exact point we were leaving.. but he would have been so out of place-- we wouldn't have been able to go see that movie.. or have asd many laughs.. it is soo true though.. It is true that antidepressants don't really help you.. so the poop is being flung at you left and right.. but I will try to stay clean... for now.. for a few hours.. maybe even a few days.. and will work out next week..and try really hard to pass the semester..I just saw bbs pop over on my bed.. I am ready to curl up with him.. without brushing my teeth etc,,

goodnight god..I am ready to start believing in you..
but I may be too tired to start "seeing" you..
love, c.
happy 25th c.
hoping for 10 more years at least for now -- i wanna see where I will go..